Phoenix

This is a fictional poem about someone struggling with mental illness who attempts to commit suicide.
I went up in flames

By my own hand

The pain

Cathartic

I finally felt release

Everything under a pressure valve

Hiding in the shadows

Now ripping at the seams

Oozing like the sludge that I am

Finally

The curtain call

Excuse me

As I take one last bow

The light slowly fades out

My body blue and orange

Just let me lay

Just me die

If I scream don’t come for me

Just put me out of my misery

I’ve committed

Fast track to the after life

Crispy hair

Burns my nostrils

Smoke chokes my lungs

This is my end

Nice to meet you

It’s been way too long

I’ve waited for you

Hold me

Tell me it’s going to be okay

That at the end of the tunnel

There’s a white light

That glows and takes all my emotions away

I just want to be numb

Numb today

I am jolted back down

To present day

By the stabbing pain

The branding of my body

As the sirens in the background play

Who the fuck is coming to save me?

Who the fuck cares?

Do they know what I’ve done?
I’m a monster.

Just leave me to die

I try to crawl away

I hear voices

Cries even

They hose me off

I hope they will walk away

But instead they stay

Here I am

My body is naked

Drenched in gasoline

Just the day in the life of a Bi-Polar with his meds in-between.

I know they can’t look away.

I am who I am.

The voices got the best of me

I can no longer pretend to be what I’m not

I guess the whole world knows now

I am a failure

Even at my own death.

But the tears that flow from their eyes

It’s something I did not expect to see.

This reality has put me to the test

I guess God has a plan

I’m here

And im alive

I guess there is no other compromise.